It’s that time of the year; you sit and ponder how far you’re ready to go to impress people with your Halloween costume. Esquire US’s tip on what to dress up as is quite straightforward: don’t. However we Filipinos love our costumes, so if you must, take note of the following Halloween drinking rules.

If you have to, and by this I mean, absolutely arm behind your back, gun to you head, knife to your throat, scissors to your manhood, have to, wear make up or face paint; stick to bottles of beer. It’ll keep you cool and prevent any spills. Once you start using glasses, it gets complicated and you’ll start looking like a hot mess even before you stumble your way to the dance floor.

Stay away from the “specials.” Bars and restaurants alike enjoy getting creative during special holidays to try and attract clientele. The most frustrating are businesses trying to push pumpkin anything. Changing the name of certain dishes to make them sound ghoulish and the one that hits my nerve system the most, is sweet artificially colored cocktails in tacky glasses labeled “Vampire Blood” or something just as ridiculous. If you’re caught taking in one of those, you’ll be flying solo at the end of the night.

During large-scale social gatherings and especially these kinds of costume parties, people require more courage than usual to feel comfortable and confident in what they are wearing. This could be because most men will go as something funny and might be second guessing their choices (Borat in a Bikini, really?) And for the ladies it is a well known fact that they take the opportunity of this holiday to let out their inner Jenna Haze (google her); all these insecurities are remedied by one medicine: shots. Ok we’re not fans of shots. Not because we’re snobs (ok maybe a little) but mostly because, this format of drink is really void of any real flavor, taste or joy. Its only purpose is to get you absolutely hammered. But if you need to order a round, these are the only respectable ones: For the men, “The Boiler Maker.” It’s a shot of rye or bourbon, chased with a beer. For the girls: a shot of tequila with a sangrita (a shot made of fresh OJ, grenadine, hot sauce and lime juice).

If you’ve decided to throw and host the party this year and are trying to come up with interesting drink recipes, let me save you the trouble, try Google. What will come up are gimmicky drinks, the type we discourage you, the Esquire man, from drinking. When our western colleagues asked resident bartender/mixologist historian/extraordinaire David Wondrich what he would do, he told them that there are only two to be considered: the Bloody Mary and the Bone. http://www.esquire.com/blogs/endorsement/best-halloween-cocktail-recipe-102909

Or maybe a video guide?

Whatever you do, have fun; just remember, if she has face paint on, be suspicious, she’s hiding something.