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The Tedium is the Message by Lourd de Veyra

Esquire Philippines — Fri, 10 May 2013 03:54:08 +0000

THE THING IS: I’m Pinoy. And according to the smart folks at the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism, Filipinos prefer their electoral campaigns covered like cockfights, boxing matches, and horse races.

But, of course.

We treat the selection for the next pope like a goddamned beauty pageant. Anyone who says otherwise is a cheerless, soul-crushing killjoy and a traitor to the race. So early on in this rant let me get it out of the way: the 2013 elections are boring me to tears. And of the lot, it is only Juan Miguel Zubiri who can dance the Gangnam Style correctly. Mitos Magsaysay looks like she’s having an epileptic seizure. Dick Gordon made a stab at a Harlem Shake video with his grandchildren but it lacked the obligatorily sleazy pelvic movements. Loren Legarda’s topping the survey may or may not be credited to her willingness to compromise her father’s dignity (she made him stand in for her during a number of sorties, where he had to witness unwatchable attempts at Gangnam).

What’s happening here?

Somebody said that politics is just like show business, but with ugly people. This year’s elections, I am appalled by the glaring lack of star quality on the campaign trail. The only constant showbiz presence in sorties can be found in UNA, but let’s just say that Tia Pusit isn’t exactly endorsing shampoos and soap brands. Sheryl Cruz once stood in for Grace Poe but how many people still remember Romnick Sarmienta and the song “Mr. Dreamboy”? By the way, the only time Tia Pusit—once upon a time a famously shrill presence in ‘80s sitcoms—figured in current social media was upon the announcement of her wedding to a 27-year-old next year. She is 64. No amount of well-intentioned forums, debates, conferences, discussions, marathon interviews is going to make me change my mind. The national elections of 2013 is happening under a humongous gray tent of ennui.

Where is this jadedness coming from? I don’t know. Once upon a time, we were all so excited to vote Trillanes to the Senate. We made him number one but now all he does is pick fights with Enrile and volunteer for covert diplomatic missions to China. But the Senate itself—it seems that’s where the real excitement happens. Aside from the cash bonuses that Enrile regularly hands out, it’s the constant verbal jousts that now oftentimes border on the highly personal and sensitive. If it’s not sexual preferences, it’s long- standing family debts. That or some acid-laced zinger from Miriam Defensor Santiago.

That shouldn’t be the case. The senate should be a hallowed temple of compunction and solemnity. But Philippine elections have a time-honored tradition of mud raking, backstabbing, double-dealing, and libel. All this shit should only happen in the campaign trail. Once bearing the name “honorable” and “senator,” they should stop acting like boors. Come to think of it, even in his most inebriated state I’ve never heard my alcoholic, shabu-sniffing neighbor tell some guy that his dead father owes him.

How about our congressional candidates? Are they exciting? Specifically in my district? Sad choices. One just happens to be too dumb to come up with a plausible excuse during the Impeachment Trial—when asked about where he got Corona’s confidential bank documents. “Iniwan lang po sa gate namin,” said the guy, who also may or may not be Rep. Umali’s mysterious “Little Lady.”

You could argue that such is the nature of mid-term elections. They’re not exactly the real spectacle—they’re just pre-show entertainment. Adding to the tedium is the silly fact that what is supposed to be the opposition doesn’t really want to call itself the Opposition. This, despite the fact that both camps are already trading accusations of illegal gift giving and corruption. But it’s still not enough.

Television ads? Don’t work all the time. The second biggest spender on TV ads is Dick Gordon but he’s in 15th place. Third biggest spender is Ernesto Maceda but the margin between his current spot and the magic 12 is as wide as his forehead. Jack Enrile is in 14th place according to the latest Pulse Asia surveys and I’m pretty sure that in spite of his food-based slogan, one of his per- ceived qualifications will still be his non-killing of Alfie Anido.

Nancy Binay. Now, here’s a name that raised more howls than videos of puppies being mutilated. Her rather high ratings in surveys—a very comfy sixth place—way ahead of candidates like Risa Hontiveros and Teddy Casiño, extinguishes the very last fires of hope for an enlightened electorate. All because of that surname and a track record that is as empty as an existentialist stage play. Risa Hontiveros had challenged her to a debate, just to get the “dy- nasty” thing out of the way and to prove once and for all that she has something to offer other than her father’s name and skin tone. But Binay said she was busy campaigning. “Debate? Let’s just do it on the senate floor.” Hahaha. That alone sends shivers down everyone’s spine.

And is rather discouraging. If she doesn’t want to debate now, which is the perfect opportunity, then when? The last time we heard such excuses was from Lito Lapid.

But I think one Lapid in the senate is enough—if not too much.

At least, we’ve been disciplined in terms of campaign parapher- nalia. That at least it isn’t a total free-for-all royal rumble out there. I miss the spontaneous acridity of the 1992 elections. Remember that? When, during a presidential debate, Doy Laurel called Danding Cojuangco and Ramon Mitra “magka-rancho” while Mitra brought up the issue of “Pilar Pilapil.” This, on national TV.

All politics is local, said former US House Speaker Tip O’Neill. You know what surprisingly got my attention? Televised mayoralty and gubernatorial debates. The only thing that’s giving me a boner right now is the mayoralty race in the city of Manila. Those snappy exchanges of sharp, below-the-belt zingers, those cinematic accusations of unmanly weeping and lying. Erap accusing Lim of treachery and ingratitude (“’Dirty Harry’ nga eh!”), Lim calling him a convicted criminal to his face. Erap and Mayor Lim certainly know how to put up a show. I wish the majority of candidates, whether senator or district counselor or provincial board member, would do the same. I am a responsible taxpayer, goddamit, and I do not deserve to be bored.

For more election essays from Philbert Dy, Gang Badoy, Oliver X.A. Reyes, Natashya Gutierrez, and Patricia Evangelista, grab a copy of the latest issue.

What Election Ban on Drinking?

Esquire Philippines — Wed, 08 May 2013 02:29:17 +0000

How to Set Up Your Very Own — Shhhh — Speakeasy

We live in confusing times. Back in the ‘90s, it was very easy to define the word “cool” because there were clear critera to be met. In high school movies from the ‘80s and ‘90s, the scene would always be set with a cafe- teria sequence identifying the popular kids from the geeks. Nowadays, we hear that geeks are the new jocks and sensitive hipsters are the new popular kids. In addition to that, people go out of their way to find an unpopular thing, whether it be a religion, music, or restaurant, which eventually becomes popular with the people who don’t consider themselves popular but who really are.

One of these movements gaining momentum in the last three years or so is the speakeasy bar. The trend kicked off in New York, where bars were licensed, unlike their historical format, but still followed the speakeasy code: no loud noise, dimly-lit interiors, offbeat locations, classic and strong cocktails, efficient bartending…The concept now seems rampant, with different bars around the world claiming the speakeasy title from the US all the way to Manila (we know of two successful ones: Prohibition and the Blind Pig, and one that claims the title but fails miserably: Charlie’s on Malugay.)

Speakeasies were illegal bars (which still had licences, ex- cept these were controlled by corrupt government workers and police men), set up during the Prohibition era in the United States. There was a ban on alcohol, so these makeshift, tucked-away establishments were a godsend to a depressed nation and their mob kings. Similarly, during our May elections in the Philippines, there will be an implemented alcohol ban, which used to be two days long and now will be implement- ed for five days (May 9 to 13, take note). The only exempted parties will be tourist-oriented destinations, as vague as that sounds; it’s safe to say that hotels will still be serving the booze.

However, not everyone wants to drink in hotels, and this ban covers a whole weekend (the nerve), so why not create your own makeshift speakeasy for the weekend?

To be honest, we’ve been having sober elections every year and we are still shocked by insane results, maybe we should try voting on the juice this time?

STEP 1: THE LOCATION

You want to try and find a place that is low key, not anywhere close to commercial (restaurant and bar) establishments, un- less you are willing to do this in your house or apartment. No need to dress the place up much, use whatever furniture is lying around, and keep the lighting as low as possible, (can- dlelight is a good option). Make sure that it is large enough to accommodate the number of people you want to draw in and hire the amount of staff accordingly. The whole point of a speakeasy is to speak easy, so no loud noises, make sure your patrons are aware of that and don’t invite people who are going to be blasting NWA through their car speakers as they roll up to the spot with their windows down (yes, peo- ple like that still exist).

STEP 2: THE BAR & THE DRINKS

You’ll need an actual bar, so build one with a set of 2x4s or use an existing high table. There is nothing more off-putting than a low din- ing table last-minute set up.

You are probably not a mixologist, but you should by now have a well-stocked bar if you’ve been reading this magazine for a while. If not, make sure you have the basics for making cocktails and if you are looking to invent your own mixes, follow the standards below. TOOLS: Boston shaker, cobbler shaker, bar spoon, jigger, Hawthorne strainer, grater, lemon press, tweezers, muddler, julep strainer, fine mesh strainer, XL ice cube trays.

ALCOHOL: Light rum (Mount Gay), bourbon, tequila (Patron), gin (Hendricks), vodka (Standard), Cointreau, bitters, whisky (Johnny Walker Black), blended or rye whisky, spiced rum (Don Papa), anis (Ricard Pastis), fortified wine, port wine, Champagne (Moet), sweet vermouth, brandy, cointreau, maraschino liqueur, St. Germain. SYRUPS: Simple syrup, grenadine, rose syrup, almond, maple, honey.

It’s actually more difficult than you think to mix drinks on taste alone (unlike cooking), because if you put too much or too little of something, there is no going back and fixing, you will have to start a whole new batch. It’s handy to have, just like in math, a set of formulas in your head that you can apply to the drinks you want to create.

>Sour Style and Sweet Liqueur Cocktails:

3:2:1 ratio of spirits:liqueur:citrus

>The David Wondrich standard that can be applied to ran- dom combinations:

Use 2 ounces of spirit for 1 oz. fortified wine, a tsp of liqueur, and 2 dashes of bitters.

>The not-a-fan-of-strong-drinks ratio:

2:1:1 ratio of spirits:liqueur:citrus. Add a dash of juice to taste (maybe 1tbsp) and ice.

>Shaken:

Simply break ice and mix it in with the cocktail to make it a little lighter. You can either strain the cocktail onto more ice, or just simply strain it.

>Stirred:

Mix the cocktail with ice just to get it cold and then either strain it or leave in the ice.

Find a mix of ideas, interviews, opinions, wisdom, tips, news, and recipes. For more Esquire visit:

Possessions, Obsessions: Meet Manila’s Modern Day Hunters/Gatherers

Esquire Philippines — Mon, 06 May 2013 02:38:30 +0000

MARS MIRANDA

Sneaker collector, 33

Like many collectors, Mars’ acquisitive nature was born from an early part of his life when getting his hands on the things he wanted did not come easy. Hence, the DJ and marketing manager (at ABS-CBN) only started when he began earning his own money some 13 years ago. Fortunately, the big shoe companies would re-release old styles from their archives, styles the young Mars once coveted.

Today, he has around 300 pairs of footwear, 80 percent of which are sneakers, many of them limited edition. He began with the Adidas Original Superstar, which has the brand’s iconic shelltoe design, and has since grown a collection that now fills an entire room. His most prized acquisitions include the Kanye West-designed Nike Air Yeezy (pink lining, glow-in-the- dark neon green soles), and the Nike Air Force One Jose Rizals (yellow swoosh, red, white, and blue all over), which was never distributed in the Philippines. If his collection has grown tremen- dously, you could say his career has flourished with it: he now spins six to four times a week in the city’s top clubs, and he is now partner at the restaurant Aracama. The better to buy more kicks? “Gano’n naman ‘yon e, di ba?” he says.

TOTI DALMACION

Vinyl records collector, 46

Anyone can amass a record collection that can cover entire walls but, says Toti Dalmacion—the man behind Terno Recordings—what distinguishes his collection is the rarity of most of the titles stacked in these purple shelves. A great portion is devoted to post-punk, post-rock, and New Wave, mostly British. “Some of these you can’t find anymore, like compilations from 1982 punk bands that most probably havent heard of,” he says. A lot were acquired during the time of their release, quite a few are autographed, some, Toti adds, can now fetch close to a couple of millions.

Collecting, he says, is about the adventure, the search, and the thrill of the find—and then getting it for dirt cheap. He can barely remember the first record he bought, but he guesses it must be Walter Murphy’s 5th of Beethoven or Frampton Comes Alive. His family was a great influence in his passion for music (his uncles, the Hotdogs’ Dennis and Rene Garcia, gave birth to Manila Sound; his mom was their manager; and his aunt, the inspiration for “Annie Batungbakal,” would send him the latest records from London when she lived there) but his pas- sion for collecting comes from his affinity for the past, its sounds and environs (he collects ‘50s furniture, too). “I guess you could say I’m sentimental.” Which, judging from the quality and number of Toti’s acquisitions, is a big understatement.

RICHARD DANAO

Cigarette wrapper collector, 46

Richard’s collection of Philippine cigarette packages dates back to the 1890s. It was started by his grandfather, the Bicolano Francisco Pavon Danao, who also collected newspapers from World War II. The collection, kept neatly in two bound books, was inherited by Richard’s father, Rodolfo, and was passed on to Richard when the son was deemed mature enough to appreciate them and continue the tradition (it was kept away from the Danao children for years to avoid damage to the collection).

“It was only during my teens when I learned to appreciate the beauty of the artworks,” says Richard who did not only add to the collection but gave the designs new life by using them as prints for pillowcases, coasters and place mats that he and his partner sell at the newly opened Firma store at the Raffles Hotel in Makati. Asked what kind of satisfaction he gets from the collection, the modest and mostly quiet Richard says, “I’m just proud to continue what my father has started.”

Read the full article in the May 2013 issue.

Heart Wants You to Vote Wisely – Presenting the Election Issue

Esquire Philippines — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 03:46:59 +0000

INSIDE THE MAY ISSUE:

A WOMAN WE LOVE – Heart Evangelista opens up to Yvette Tan about her newfound independence, living in undisclosed locations, and what the future might hold for her and the senator.

ESQUIRE GUIDE TO 2013 ELECTIONS
Esquire’s best make an interesting arena for talk on politics. Essays from Lourd de Veyra, Gang Badoy, Oliver X.A. Reyes, Philbert Dy, Natashya Gutierrez and Patricia Evanglista.

WHAT I’VE LEARNED - “The first time I ran I felt insecure.” No longer a rookie, Frank Drilon imparts lessons from years on the campaign trail.

MAHB: ESQ+A – Erwin Romulo talks to UNA campaign manager, Rep. Toby Tiangco about this year’s campaigns, how to make friends in politics, and Binay 2016.

100 POSSESSIONS, OBSESSIONS – Profiles on eight modern-day hunters and gatherers featuring massive collections: everything from sneakers to Elvis memorabilla.

MAHB: EAT LIKE A MAN - We used to be stuck in a rut of mass- farmed and mass-produced—until Grace Park, a restaurant with farm-fresh food for the soul. Plus, a recipe to making your own ceviche at home; and tips on how to skin a fish.

FUNNY JOKE FROM A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN as told by Jessica Connely.

STYLE - Which essentials to bring for the perfect warm-weather escape, how Daniel Craig in La Perlas caused the slow death of the board shorts, and what are the iconic moments in male swimwear. Plus, we explain why the short suit is better.

GUIDE TO HOME ENTERTAINMENT - Allow yourself to experience the self- revelatory process of assembling your dream system with this discerning man’s guide to home entertainment.

STRONGER, FASTER, BETTER, OLDER - Just because you’re body isn’t what it used to be doesn’t mean you can’t feel as good at 60 as you did when you were 20. How to use your body, and maintain it for the rest of your life.

Esquire Endorsement: Bvlgari Roma

Esquire Philippines — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 02:31:11 +0000

The very first Bvlgari Roma (pictured at the bottom) was launched in 1975, and represented a pioneering break with the prevailing conservatism in the watchmaking world at the time. As its name suggests, it was inspired by the Eternal City, an enduring symbol of power and authority, which celebrates its 2,776th year this week.

Its bold design was taken from the currency used by the ancient Romans, with its finely crafted cylindrical casing in gold, replete with authoritative double engraving – a design element that would inspire generations of luxury watches made from that point onwards.

In this year’s Baselworld exhibition, Bvlgari brings back this iconic watch and refines it for a new generation. While retains the same cylindrical case geometry of its forbear, it features a self-winding analog movement instead of a quartz digital display, which was developed and produced entirely in-house.

The casing itself features an more modern version of the original engravings, and is made from 18-carat pink gold, paired with a black alligator leather strap. Production will be strictly limited to 250 examples, with pricing yet to be announced.

For The Weekend: Everywhere We Shoot’s First Solo Exhibit Opens This Saturday

Esquire Philippines — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 09:51:50 +0000

About the Artists

Everywhere We Shoot is composed of Ryan Vergara and Garovs Garrovillo. Their moniker is not just the duo’s name but also a statement of intent, a manifesto of sorts in praise of the ambulant imagination. According to them, they were two kids who would meet up at a fast food joint near school, just to hang out. As a result, they ended up smitten not only with each other, but also with each other’s good taste. Both were obsessed with magazines and irony, and working together just happened naturally. Both trained at the De La Salle – College of St. Benilde’s School of Design & Arts where Ryan was a Multimedia Arts major and Garovs was in Fashion Design and Merchandising.

Their work has appeared in almost every major magazine in the country as well as a number of publications abroad. They’ve also been commissioned to do brand campaigns, record sleeves, and lookbooks for top Filipino designers.

They’ve established an inimitable style through photography, fashion, and graphic design – characteristically ironic and playful and always with a hint of humor. They simplify the complicated, and exaggerate the basics. The success of their partnership is creating images that refuse to stay put.

(Words by Erwin Romulo)

Complete exhibit details:

Everywhere We Shoot’s first solo show at PABLO, FORT BONIFACIO.

Opening night: April 27, 6pm, Saturday

Exhibit runs until May 31, 2013

PABLO Fort

Unit C-11, South of Market Condominium,

9th corner 11th streets, Fort Global City, Taguig

+63 (2) 506.0602

fort@pablogalleries.com

Picture Perfect: Win an iPhone 5 in Yabu’s Katsu Craze

Esquire Philippines — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 10:44:21 +0000

Yabu is going to make it easier for you to have your cake and Instagram it too. Well, not exactly cake, but more of their delicious katsu that we can’t get enough of. The House of Katsu is giving everyone who eats there a chance to be the proud owner of a brand new iPhone 5.

If you haven’t tried their mouth-watering katsu pork cutlets then this is the perfect time to do so. Combining both the katsu and food-stagram craze is the recipe for the perfect promo and all you have to do is download the Yabu Katsu Craze photo app on your Apple device (available in the App Store), snap a photo of your favorite Yabu dish (we recommend the Hiroshima oysters), customize it, and share it on Yabu’s online gallery. The winner takes home said iPhone 5, and everyone else is consoled with said delicious katsu. Win-win.

To find out more, visit Yabu’s official site.

A Funny Joke from A Beautiful Woman – Samantha Lee

Esquire Philippines — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 09:13:32 +0000

A Funny Joke from A Beautiful Woman, featuring filmmaker Samantha Lee. Get to know her better in the April 2013 issue, out now:

Fresh Metal – Do The Evolution: Subaru BRZ

Esquire Philippines — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 04:31:43 +0000

Subaru BRZ

Remember the sports car we were raving about, Esquire’s runaway 2012 Car of the Year? Yes, the Toyota 86. This is the twin – the Subaru BRZ. Those three letters stand for Boxer engine, Rear-wheel drive and well, adding a Z just makes it sound cooler. It was locally launched at the end of last year, about five months after the 86, Toyota naturally getting first crack. The recall of the 86 is arguably bigger. Search for ‘Subaru BRZ’ on the Internet and it will lead you to the Toyota 86. The 86 is the direct descendant of Toyota’s past sports cars, particularly the 2000GT, Sports 800 and the AE86, and likewise influenced by the Lexus LFA. Subaru, on the other hand, is known for its rally cars, turbo and all-wheel drive – elements not found on the BRZ.

Minimalist interiors won’t make you feel like you stepped into the Enterprise.

Their main input is the compact, low sitting, horizontally-opposed boxer engine that gives the sports car a weight distribution ratio of 53:47 and a lower center of gravity. Both versions are identical, apart from the distinguishing details at the front end. The BRZ appears to smile with its hexagonal grille, as opposed to the 86’s more aggressive look with an inverted trapezoid grille. The BRZ’s headlight cluster incorporates the turn indicators and has a more decorative set of LEDs compared to the 86’s more straightforward design. You can also tell both cars apart by the fender grills. Inside, the 86’s carbon-look dash trim is exchanged for the matte-silver finish in the BRZ. The Scooby does away with red patches on the seats and door panels. Brand positioning means the Subaru BRZ dictates a slightly higher price. At Php1,950,000, it’s a lot of sports car for the money. It just offers so much fun.

For the full report, grab a copy of our April 2013 issue, which includes:

Subaru Forester

Toyota RAV4

Porsche Cayman

Mazda6

Mercedes-Benz B-Class

Click on the link below to find out how to get your hands on a copy:

Hair Everywhere: The Men of Boys’ Night Out Mouth Off About Unruly Hair

Esquire Philippines — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 06:33:41 +0000

“I don’t miss my hair” – Tony Toni Does The Baldie

Having hair was my problem. My hair was too thick and hard to maintain. I’ve gone through maybe 10 di erent styles. My mom gave me the coconut husk style. Then, I patterned my hair after Jose Rizal. Then, a buzz cut like the PNP. Then, gelled and slicked back like Panchito. Then, I moved to the Philippines in the late ’90s, which was also the start of a very long relationship with my hair. Crazy hair story: I was living in New Manila, and asked my roommates the nearest place to get a decent haircut. They told me it’s just down the street, so I went to the irst salon, thinking that this is where they all go. I met my irst gay hairstylist and told him to take a little o the sides and the top. After a few minutes, I checked the cut. He chopped o my hair and said, “Eto yung uso ngayon!” I got screwed with a bad haircut and had to pay for it. When I did decide to take it all o , I felt so much more at ease. I spent less time in the banyo, drying and styling. And I saved money since I didn’t have to spend as much for hair products. But despite having no hair, I still use shampoo. I also have a special cream just for my scalp to keep it smelling good!

An advantage: I noticed that more women remembered me. A disadvantage: Most women thought I was a bad boy just because of my shaved head. These are women that didn’t know me yet. I recommend a shaved head for guys. See how it feels. Hair always grows back, so it’s not the end of the world. And if you have a receding hairline or thinning hair, going bald is your best bet. Of course, it’s all about carrying it with conidence. I deinitely don’t miss my hair!

“It was a painful undertaking.” – Sam YG Keeps His Brows

Eyebrows are a bit tricky for men, especially if they grow wild and out of control. My grandfather told me that thick brows represented power and dominance, and I felt lucky having been blessed with a full pair. Mine were thicker than most of my peers’ brows, but I was thankful they didn’t connect to form a unibrow. It wasn’t until the latter years of college that I noticed wild strands. Even if I found them annoying, I refused to do anything because I didn’t ind the idea of trimming manly.

A women’s magazine dared me to go through what the ladies called threading. It was a painful undertaking. And it left the brow area red and sore for a couple of days. Being Indian with sharp facial features, I noticed a signiicant change in the way I looked. Honestly, I found it a bit weird. I just didn’t feel right to have perfectly lined eyebrows. Eventually, the hair grew back and I started looking normal again. A few months later, I experimented on my brows by trimming wild strands that were longer than the others. I felt better because they didn’t look too thick or too thin as compared to threading. Since then, I’ve been maintaining my eyebrows at least once a month with a pair of little scissors. Nothing too crazy. Just a bit of trimming here and there to make them look decent instead of distracting. As with the rest of my facial hair, I consider cleaning up my brows a part of manscaping. Not having your hair all over the place is part of proper grooming. The last thing you want is a lady unable to focus on you because you’re eyebrows seem to have lives of their own.

“She left me there, a new man.” – Slick Rick Yanks It Off

I was irst introduced to the Brazilian wax by my radio partner Faith. She had her own waxing place, and dared me to try it. I went for it. Faith said it was something she enjoyed on her guy, because it was clean and the sexy time was “more.” At the waxing salon, a lady applied wax on the area to start the deforestation. She warned me it would hurt because it was my irst time. This was a line that guys don’t normally hear. Then, the irst strip was pulled away. It felt like my manhood was being torn from me. I thought layers of my skin were being stripped o . But it was just the hair down there. “Kaya pa?” she asked in a sadistic way. I wanted to run out, but I said, “Kaya!”

As it continued, the process took on a different feeling. A new beginning. A clean slate. And when it was done, she left me there, a new man. I took a look at myself. Cool. The true test was sexy time. I tried it out and that’s when it hit me. Now, I know what Faith meant when she said “more.” Brazil-ian waxing is like a video game power up that I can use for more energy. From that day on, I’ve made waxing a part of my grooming habit. I get my monthly wax at The Strip Ministry of Wax. The Stripperellas are taught abroad how to do it the right way. And they do it in 30 minutes. You gotta keep your junk clean. Your girls will appreciate it. Plus, even on hot days, you won’t ind yourself scratching down there.

Find all the top tips on how to groom yourself like a true gentleman in the 2013 Esquire Grooming Awards, found in this month’s issue. Click on the link below to grab a copy: